


My Brother Taught Me How to Swim

by Annonb



Series: Rick/Daryl [4]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Play, Daddy Kink, Diapers, F/M, Infantilism, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:17:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7762846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annonb/pseuds/Annonb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merle babysits again, but this time, it might be for quite awhile. Can Daddy, Merle, and Daryl handle it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"He's so precious," Carol crooned.

 

"That he is," Rick agreed, smiling fondly down at his little boy. 

 

Daryl's blush was hidden behind the baby bottle. His eyes were blinking sleepily. 

 

"He can hardly keep his eyes open," Glenn mused. 

 

"That's because he's had a big day," Maggie chimed in. "First Merle's visit, now ours." 

 

Rick nodded. It was a big day for his baby. Merle was in town again and dropped by unannounced. The older Dixon wasn't aware that Carol, Glenn, and Maggie were also stopping by. Merle booked it out of there before they showed, but not before Rick asked him for a favor. 

 

The group wanted to see a movie, an R-rated movie, something that Daddy would not allow Daryl to see. Normally, he would've let the others go and he would stay behind. But this was a movie he wanted to see too. He explained to Daryl the four of them were going to have some grown up time, but not the Grown Up time he and Daryl shared, just in case the little boy got confused. 

 

So Rick asked Merle to watch Daryl while they went out. It took a couple minutes for him to maul it over, but he eventually agreed to it and the baby was excited to spend time with his older brother again. Unfortunately for Daryl, he would be asleep the whole time Daddy would be away. 

 

"Ain't sleepy," Daryl mumbled. 

 

The others laughed. 

 

"That's one thing the rest of us disagree on," Rick chuckled. 

 

Daryl frowned and pushed the bottle away.

 

"I ain't," he insisted. "Wanna go see the movie."

 

Rick shook his head. 

 

"Absolutely not."

 

Little or big, Daryl was not allowed to see the movie. They had seen an R-rated horror movie together one night when Daryl was feeling grown up. It ended in a breakdown for Daryl and a week or two of restless nights for both of them. 

 

It was not happening. 

 

Daddy thumbed away a drip of formula that had fell to Daryl's chin. 

 

"You're gonna stay here and sleep and Merle is gonna stay with you the whole time. I'll be back by the time you wake up." 

 

Daryl pouted, but truth be told he was too tired to argue. 

 

Rick patted Daryl's diapered bottom.

 

"Let's get you ready for bed. Can you say goodnight to everyone?" 

 

Daryl crawled off from Daddy's lap and stood up. He stepped over to Carol first.

 

"Night, Auntie Carol."

 

Carol grinned as she sat up to kiss his forehead. 

 

"Goodnight, precious boy."

 

Daryl went to Maggie next. 

 

"Night, Auntie Maggie."

 

She kissed his cheek. 

 

"Night, little guy." 

 

Then he went to Glenn. 

 

"Night, Uncle Glenn." 

 

Glenn stood up and wrapped his arms around the little boy.

 

"Night, man. And don't worry, we'll look after Daddy for you."

 

"Don't let 'im get hurt or nothin'," Daryl said seriously. 

 

Rick chuckled as he swept the younger man up onto his hip. 

 

"There's nothin' out there that's gonna get me," he said. 

 

Daryl yawned. "Jus' want ya to have backup jus' in case." 

 

Rick smiled. He carried Daryl upstairs and paused in the hallway.

 

"Big bed or crib?"

 

Daryl nibbled his lip, considering his options. He liked to sleep in the big bed, but only if Daddy was there, otherwise it was too large and too lonely.

 

He glanced into the nursery. 

 

It looked like Beau had made the decision for him. He was curled up on Daryl's pillow. 

 

"Crib, please."

 

"Okay," Daddy replied. He took Daryl into the nursery and over to the changing table. He laid him down and began undressing him. 

 

"Do you wanna pick out your pajamas?" Rick asked as he undid Daryl's wet diaper. 

 

Daryl slipped his thumb in his mouth and shook his head. He was too exhausted to choose. 

 

"Daddy do," he lisped around the digit. 

 

Rick slid open the drawer and picked out a gray pair of pj's with an outline of a bear on it. He got Daryl's bottom powdered and changed into a dry diaper before dressing him in the pajamas. After that was finished he picked the baby up and laid him down in his crib. 

 

Beau reluctantly crawled off the pillow and snuggled into Daryl's side. 

 

"I know I'm gonna be okay," Rick said as he carded his fingers through Daryl's hair. "But are you sure you're gonna be okay?" 

 

Merle had changed since reconnecting with Daryl, but Rick was still unsure of just how much he'd changed. He saw the effort the older Dixon was putting in and he appreciated it for Daryl's sake. But a fear still lingered that Merle could snap back to who he was. 

 

"I'll be 'kay, Daddy," Daryl said, giving a reassuring nod. "Mer is a good big brother now."

 

Rick smiled sweetly as his baby boy. He hoped to God that that was true. It would break Daryl's heart if Merle reverted back to what he was before. 

 

"I'll just be gone for a couple hours. You call me if you need me, alright?"

 

Daryl cocked his head a couple degrees. 

 

"But ya can't have yer phone on in the movies."

 

"For you, they'll have to make an exception," Rick grinned as he gave Daryl's nose a playful tweak. 

 

The little boy let out a watery giggle. 

 

"Okay, give Daddy kisses."

 

Daryl sat up and wrapped his arms around Daddy's neck and kissed his cheek. 

 

Rick pressed his lips to Daryl's forehead. 

 

"Night my baby boy. Love you."

 

"Night, Daddy. Love ya too."

 

Rick gave the cat that was already snoozing a scratch behind the ear.

 

"Night, Beau. Take care of our baby," he smiled. 

 

Rick switched off the light and grabbed the baby monitor from the shelf before leaving the nursery. When he reached the bottom of the stairs he stopped. There was a roar of an engine approaching the house. It stalled in the driveway. Rick could see the headlights shine through the front window in the living room. 

 

Daddy stood by the front door and waited for Merle to climb up the steps before opening it.

 

"Hey, Merle," he greeted.

 

Merle gave a nod in the man's direction.

 

"Hey." He crossed the threshold and let Rick shut the door behind him. 

 

"I just put 'im down. He should stay sleepin' til we get back." 

 

"He usually sleeps this early?"

 

"It was a big day for him." 

 

The older Dixon nodded. He could imagine his baby brother was exhausted. He was running around like the Energizer Bunny when he was there earlier. 

 

Rick led Merle down the hall and into the family room where the others were waiting. Daddy knew that this impending meeting would be awkward for all of them, especially for Maggie and Glenn. The three of them were far from being on friendly terms. But Rick spoke to them about it beforehand. He told them how this makeshift family was vital for Daryl and for some reason they didn't fully understand he needed Merle. So they agreed to be cordial for the baby's sake. As cordial as they could be when it came to the older Dixon. 

 

"Hi, Merle," Carol greeted when they appeared.

 

"Hey," Glenn and Maggie said together, avoiding eye contact.

 

Merle didn't notice this. He was avoiding making eye contact with them. 

 

"Hey."

 

Glenn stood up and took Maggie's hand in his. 

 

"We'll go get the car started and warmed up," he said. 

 

"Good idea," Rick nodded. 

 

The two left the room together hand in hand. 

 

Carol stayed seated, watching Merle. 

 

"Emergency numbers are-"

 

"On the fridge," Merle finished with an eye roll. Was Rick really going to give him all these instructions every time he babysat Daryl? 

 

"And bottles are-"

 

"In the fridge," the older Dixon mumbled.

 

Rick nodded. 

 

"I wrote out some instructions on what to do if he wakes up. They're on the fridge too. Don't hesitate to call me if he does wake up."

 

"Got it." 

 

"And here's the baby monitor," Rick said as he snagged it off the coffee table. He handed it over to Merle. "Keep this on you at all times. Merle, I mean it."

 

"Yeah yeah, I will"

 

Rick rubbed his hands together.

 

"That's everything I suppose."

 

Carol stood up and went over to the two. She eyed Merle seriously.

 

"You better take good care of him," she said. 

 

Merle kept his gaze downcast. 

 

"I can handle it," he replied. It's not like he didn't do it before and that time Daryl was actually awake. The most he would be watching was the baby monitor. 

 

Rick put his hand on Carol's shoulder and led her to the front hall. He opened the door and ushered her to go first. 

 

"We'll be back in a couple hours," he said. "And he's allowed to call me if there's a problem." 

 

Merle nodded. 

 

"There won't be a problem. Now will ya'll just get?" 

 

Rick glanced up the front steps before stepping out into the cold. He shut the door behind him quietly.


	2. My Brother Taught Me How to Swim

Merle shook his head as he walked into the kitchen.

 

He didn't know why the others were so uptight. Honestly. It wasn't like Daryl was being left in the hands of someone completely useless. He'd done this before and didn't doubt he could do it again. It was only for a couple hours and his baby brother would stay sleeping the entire time. 

 

Merle placed the baby monitor on the counter and opened the refrigerator. He snagged a soda and what looked like leftovers. He peeled back the plastic wrap and sniffed the plate. Whatever it was smelled fine. He popped it in the microwave. 

 

As he was waiting he glanced at the list of instructions on the fridge. It wasn't a list, it was a small novel. It seemed like Rick had planned for every possible scenario. 

 

Merle huffed and rolled his eyes. 

 

When the timer beeped he grabbed his food and the monitor and headed for the family room couch. He figured it would be alright to watch something on TV if he did it quietly.

 

Merle had finished the food and was a couple of hours into the news when something caused him to perk up. It was his cell phone vibrating. He took it from his pocket and answered it. 

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Shit," a man cursed on the other side. "Merle?"

 

It was Rick. 

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Merle? It's Rick."

 

"I know," the older Dixon answered. 

 

"I can't believe this. We're stuck here at the theater and they're not lettin' anyone leave 'cause of the snowstorm. I guess it's really bad and they can't get the plows through. We're literally trapped here til this thing clears up. Is Daryl alright?" Daddy asked, sounding more than a bit stressed.

 

Merle nodded. "He's fine. Still sleepin'," he grumbled. 

 

"You have the monitor?"

 

"Yeah, I have the damn monitor." 

 

"Alright. Hopefully, this won't last long and we can get outta here soon. Don't forget to call if you need anything." 

 

"I won't forget. See ya," Merle said before hanging up the call. He put the phone back in his pocket and put his feet up on the couch. His baby brother wasn't the only one who was tired. He was pretty wrung out himself. 

 

He laid back and got comfortable. 

 

It was a couple hours later that signs of life started to stir in the house. 

 

Merle sat up. He heard a faint noise. He figured it was Rick and the others getting back, but after a few seconds, he heard it again.

 

He glanced at the monitor sitting on the coffee table. Sure enough, it was lighting up and was accompanied by a light sniffling. 

 

"Damn it," the older Dixon gritted out. He reluctantly pulled himself up and headed down the hall to climb the stairs. 

 

Daryl was sitting up in his crib and rubbing his eyes when Merle came in the room. The older man flicked on the lights and sighed. 

 

"Daryl, why ain't ya sleepin'?"

 

The younger man waited for his eyes to adjust before answering. 

 

"I woked up. Where's Daddy?" 

 

"He's stuck at the theaters 'cause of the snowstorm. Ya get me til then. Why are you awake?"

 

Daryl shifted uncomfortably. 

 

That's when Merle heard it. A slight crinkling noise. 

 

He nodded slowly in understanding. 

 

"I, uh, I suppose you need to be changed or somethin'?"

 

Daryl's cheeks were burning. He shrugged his shoulders. 

 

"I dunno," he said softly. 

 

Merle lowered the rails of the crib. 

 

"Get on that changin' table thing," he ordered. 

 

Daryl shook his head, his brown hair flipping from side to side. 

 

"Daryl, Rick wouldn't want ya sittin' in a wet diaper all night and he would kill me if ya got a rash 'cause of it. Now, get on the table."

 

"Daddy do it," Daryl whimpered. 

 

"Your Daddy ain't here and might not be for awhile. Get over there."

 

"No." 

 

Merle was losing patience.

 

"Come'on, baby brother. It ain't like I've never done it before."

 

Daryl nibbled his lip. That was true. Merle probably changed him more than their parents did. And it's not like he was looking forward to a rash either. He wanted to just wait for Daddy, but that might take awhile. He slowly crawled out of bed and headed for the changing table. 

 

The last time Merle changed a diaper was when Daryl was around two, but he found the process to be the same. 

 

Daryl pointed to where the supplies were all the while covering his face with his blanket. 

 

Merle undid Daryl's diaper and bent his legs. 

 

The little boy let out an embarrassed groan when the older Dixon pushed his knees to his chest, lifting his bottom up slightly. 

 

Merle slipped the wet diaper free and replaced it with a dry one. He wiped Daryl clean and sprinkled a little too much baby powder. He then pulled the front of the diaper up and secured it around Daryl's waist. 

 

The older brother glanced over at Daryl who was still covering his face. Merle rolled his eyes. 

 

"Come'on, baby brother," he said as he did up the snaps of the younger man's pajamas. "It's no big deal and it had to be done. I think we've both done worse things," he smirked.

 

Daryl couldn't help the twitch that played at his lips. 

 

Merle helped him off the changing table.

 

"Alright, that's done. Now ya can get back to bed."

 

Daryl blinked at him. 

 

"What?" Merle groaned. 

 

"I ain't sleepy."

 

"What will make ya sleep then?"

 

"Daddy," Daryl answered. 

 

The older Dixon turned to leave the room. 

 

"Come'on then," he said. 

 

He led them downstairs and into the kitchen where the book of instructions was. Merle started thumbing through the pages until he got to the "what to do if Daryl can't sleep" section. 

 

Daryl glanced out the back door window. 

 

"It's snowin'!"

 

Merle nodded, focused on the paper in front of him.

 

Daryl tip-toed over to the back door and placed his hand on the knob. He made sure Merle wasn't paying attention before opening it slowly. It creaked slightly and a cold burst of air rushed in. 

 

"Hey!"

 

Daryl jumped before slamming the door shut. 

 

"But I never seen snow 'fore, Mer!"

 

"Well, ya ain't seein' it now. Go sit over there til I find out what to do here," Merle said as he pointed to the kitchen table. 

 

Daryl took a seat in one of the chairs. 

 

Merle read through the list. He already did the first thing, which was change him. The second thing was to make up a bottle and rock Daryl in the rocking chair. If that didn't do the trick, Rick wrote down to read him story or sing him a song. As a last resort, Merle could lay with him in the big bed. 

 

The older Dixon rolled his eyes. He wanted to just order Daryl to go back to bed. He was sure that would have been just as effective, but probably wouldn't prove himself as a supportive big brother. 

 

"Can we call Daddy?" Daryl asked softly. 

 

Merle didn't want to call Rick in case the man would think he wasn't up to caring for his brother and would revoke the privilege in the future. But he didn't want Rick coming home and hear Daryl crying about how his big brother was mean to him and wouldn't let him call his Daddy. Merle decided to risk any future babysitting gigs and to give in to Daryl's request. 

 

"Fine," he grumbled. "Let me make ya a bottle and then you can call 'im." 

 

Once the bottle was made and at the right temperature, he led his baby brother into the family room. They both sat down on the couch and Merle fished out his cellphone from his pocket. He dialed Rick's cell, put it on speaker, and handed the phone to Daryl. 

 

"Hello?"

 

"Daddy?" Daryl sniffled. 

 

"Hey, bud," Rick cooed. "Why are you awake?"

 

Daryl shrugged. 

 

"Just woke up. Daddy, ya need to come home now." 

 

"Oh, baby. I want to, but they're not lettin' us leave yet."

 

"But I need ya," Daryl whimpered. 

 

Rick felt awful. He needed Daryl too. 

 

"I got an idea. Did Merle make you a bottle?"

 

"Uh huh."

 

"How about I tell you a story while you drink your bottle?"

 

Daryl would've preferred for Daddy to just come home, but that wasn't an option at the moment. This would have to do for now. 

 

"Kay, Daddy. Can ya tell me Owl Babies?"

 

Rick nodded, smiling to himself as he thought about their worn out book at home. Right now he'd do just about anything to be there reading it while cradling his baby boy. 

 

"Of course, bud. Once upon a time there were three baby owls..." 

 

Daryl slipped his bottle into his mouth and focused on the warmth of Rick's words. It was almost like having him there. He closed his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Ever so gently Merle pried the cell phone from the sleeping man's fingers. 

 

"Yeah, he's asleep," he said once the phone was to his ear. 

 

"Good," Rick sighed feeling relieved. The last thing he wanted on top of this was an upset baby boy.

 

"Any chance of ya gettin' back soon?"

 

Rick shook his head. 

 

"Doubt it. They still got the roads blocked off."

 

Merle groaned inwardly. He was tired and wanted to sleep himself. He wondered how Rick did this 24/7. 

 

"What should I do with him?" Merle asked. 

 

"Can you carry him back to his crib without jostlin' him too much?"

 

"Reckon I can try."

 

"Hopefully, he'll stay sleepin' this time."

 

The older Dixon ran his real hand down his face. 

 

"Alright. See ya later."

 

"Thanks, Merle. Bye."

 

Merle put his phone back into his pocket before glancing at Daryl. He bit his lip nervously. He really didn't want to wake his baby brother, but he also really wanted the couch to himself. He stood up and went to the sleeping man. As carefully as he could he slipped his arms beneath Daryl and hauled him up. 

 

"Daddy," Daryl mumbled sleepily. 

 

"No, baby brother. It's me. Go back to sleep."

 

Daryl turned and pressed himself against his older brother as he carried him upstairs and into the nursery. 

 

Merle laid Daryl down in the crib gently, thankful that the little boy didn't stir. He pulled the covers to Daryl's chin. As he did, he stared down at his little brother. He looked so innocent, so angelic. Despite not having Rick by his side, the boy looked peaceful. 

 

Daryl brought his thumb to his mouth and slipped it between his lips. 

 

Merle smirked. The last time he saw Daryl suck his thumb was when he was in his early twenties. Admittedly, the older Dixon gave him hell for doing it, but he knew Daryl never completely broke the habit. 

 

Merle couldn't help but feel a sense of peace himself. Even when his little brother was an actual baby, it was never really safe for him to be one. Now he could be. Now he could suck his thumb happily and not have to worry about judgment or being berated for it. 

 

His smirk transformed itself into a smile. He reached out with his good hand and brushed his fingers through Daryl's locks. 

 

"Night, baby brother." 

 

Merle silently made his way back to the family room couch and fell down on it. He stretched his arms over his head and sighed. He was exhausted, but something inside him still stirred preventing him from any slumber. 

 

It was guilt. 

 

He should have done better with Daryl. He should have let him be little when he was little. Merle recalled the time he caught Daryl sucking his thumb when he was an adult. That time he ripped the digit from the boy's mouth and gave a good smack to the back of his head.

 

Merle grimaced as he recalled the sound of his hand cracking down on the little boy. 

 

It wasn't the first time he hit his little brother. He'd done it lots of times when the boy was acting weak, like a baby. When he was a baby. 

 

The older Dixon thought of the countless times he tore toys out of Daryl's arms and broke them in two. He thought of the times after their Ma died that Daryl would wake up from nightmares with wet pajama bottoms, how he grabbed and pushed the little boy down to the floor. He thought of all the times Daryl cried for him and he just ignored him. 

 

Merle frowned. 

 

But he did it for a reason. He thought he was protecting Daryl from something so much worse. When he first realized his younger brother was gay, it scared him to death. How was Daryl going to survive in their town being that way? He had to toughen the boy up or else someone else would take him down, someone like their own Pa. 

 

Remembering the scars on his brother's back, Merle decided he didn't do that well at protecting the little guy, but at least he was alive. 

 

"Thank God for Rick," Merle whispered. 

 

Thank God for Rick? Where the hell did that come from? 

 

But Merle realized he was thankful for Rick. The man finally gave Daryl what he never had, what he always deserved. For the first time Daryl was truly happy and loved and that was all because of Rick. And deep down that's what he always wanted for his little brother.

 

Then there was that time Daryl spent in the hospital. Merle only came by once and didn't even go in to see him. He watched his younger brother breakdown into hysterics through one-way glass. Merle knew that his sweet baby brother was broken and he also knew he couldn't fix him, but he knew someone who could give him a fighting chance. Rick Grimes.

 

The doctors informed him of the former cop's daily visits and how he was the only one who could handle Daryl. In fact, the little time he wasn't under sedation was when Rick was around. He knew if there was a chance his brother could get back to even a glimpse of his old self that it would be Rick who could do it. He knew Rick wouldn't leave him there to rot and he knew the two needed each other. And that's why he left Daryl there. Merle could still hear his baby brother screaming for Rick as he made his way down the hall to the exit. Back then the guilt of abandoning Daryl yet again ate him alive, but now he saw it was the best thing he ever did.

 

For the first time he wanted Rick's approval. He wanted to be worthy of being in his brother's life, not just in it. Merle didn't know how long Rick was going to be away, but he knew that he was going to prove himself to be the best big brother there ever was, in both Daryl and Rick's eyes. 

 

And he was going to prove it. First thing in the morning. 

 

Merle turned over to block himself from the sun-rays shining brilliantly through the window. He couldn't believe it was morning already. He felt like he'd just dozed off. He tried to fall back asleep, but the silence that was there a moment ago was broken. 

 

"Daddy!" 

 

Merle groaned. No. It was too early. 

 

"Daddy! 'm 'wake now," Daryl called out. 

 

Merle managed to haul himself to his feet and climb the stairs to the nursery. 

 

"Daddy!"

 

"Alright, that's enough," Merle said when he entered the room. 

 

Daryl blinked up at his big brother. He shifted slightly to try and catch a glimpse behind him. His lips formed a perfect pout when he realized there was no one behind Merle. 

 

"Where's Daddy?" 

 

"He's still stuck at the movies." 

 

Waves of panic started to set in. Daddy wasn't back yet. What if it continued to snow and he didn't get home for days, weeks, or all winter? What if it never stopped snowing and Daddy never came home? 

 

Merle took in his baby brother's worried expression and hoped there wasn't a tantrum brewing.

 

"Want Daddy," Daryl sniffled as he rubbed at his eyes with balled up fists. 

 

Merle sighed as he walked towards the crib. He was too tired for this, but he was determined to show both Daryl and Rick they could depend on him.

 

"I know ya do," he said. "He'll be back soon. The sun is up and will melt some of the snow and the trucks will be able to get through."

 

Daryl blinked up at him owlishly. 

 

"He'll come home today? Soon?"

 

Merle nodded. 

 

"Probably in a few hours at the most."

 

"P'womise?"

 

Merle didn't really want to promise that seeing as he had no control over the situation, but Daryl was looking up at him with the saddest puppy dog eyes he couldn't help but promise. 

 

"I promise." 

 

"'kay," the baby sniffled. 

 

"Are ya ready to get up?"

 

"Uh huh," Daryl nodded. 

 

Merle lowered the bars of the crib. Before Daryl could get out the older man had him in his arms. He lifted him up and onto his hip. 

 

Daryl blushed. Only Daddy carried him like that.

 

"I can walk, Mer," he said.

 

"Yeah, yeah," Merle replied. He carried his baby brother over to the changing table and set him down on it. "Lay back."

 

Daryl hesitated a moment before doing what he was told.

 

Merle noticed his apprehension.

 

"Come on, baby brother. I thought we got over this last night. It's not a big deal to me to change your diapers. I've done it before, remember?" 

 

Daryl slipped his thumb in his mouth. This was different though. This was a morning diaper change. And he was very, very wet. Usually, Daddy would check him in the middle of the night and change him if he needed it. He was rarely this wet and it was embarrassing. 

 

He closed his eyes waiting for the not so nice comment from his big brother. He heard Merle untape his diaper. He knew it was coming, any second now. 

 

But there was no comment. There was just the sound of the crinkling of a fresh diaper being secured around his waist. 

 

"I suppose we should get ya dressed," Merle said once he was finished changing Daryl.

 

Daryl cracked his eyes open.

 

"What?" The little boy questioned looking confused. Where was the harsh remark?

 

"Don't ya get dressed when ya wake up?"

 

"You- you're not..."

 

"I'm not what?" Merle asked as he started pulling out the dresser drawers.

 

Daryl shook his head. 

 

"Nof'in." 

 

Merle picked out a pair of jeans and a gray t-shirt with black and white stars on it. 

 

"I need'a undershirt," Daryl said. "Daddy says I have to wear 'em when it's cold." 

 

Merle nodded. 

 

"Where are they?" 

 

The little boy pointed to the drawer directly under him. 

 

Merle opened it and grabbed a plain white onesie. 

 

Daryl attempted to take the bundle of clothes from his brother's hands.

 

"I can do it," he said. 

 

Merle rolled his eyes. 

 

"Just sit still, baby brother." 

 

Merle began stripping a blushing Daryl out of his pajamas.

 

"Arms up."

 

Daryl lifted his arms and let his big brother slip the bodysuit over his head. Merle slid it down over the younger man's body and snapped the crotch closed. He slipped the t-shirt on and then took Daryl's hand in his. 

 

"Hop down."

 

Daryl did what he was told.

 

Merle shook the jeans out and held them open. Daryl placed his hand on his brother's shoulder to steady himself and put one leg in the pants and then the other. The older man then pulled them up, zipped, and buttoned them. 

 

"I need socks," Daryl said after he was dressed. He turned around and pulled out a pair from one of the dresser drawers.

 

Merle grabbed them from his hands. 

 

"Sit," he ordered. 

 

"But I can do it myself, Mer," Daryl said although that wasn't true. He had trouble getting his socks on right and always left that to Daddy.

 

"Sure ya can. Sit."

 

Daryl sat down on the floor with a huff.

 

Merle knelt down and did the task himself. His little brother couldn't help but be amazed at just how well his fake fingers worked as they pulled on the socks and folded them over with ease. 

 

"Thanks, Mer," Daryl said softly once he was all dressed. 

 

Merle shrugged.

 

"No problem," he said standing up. "So, yer probably hungry."

 

"Uh huh," Daryl replied as he rose to his feet. "What are ya gonna make?"

 

"Make?" Merle questioned. That's right. Rick wasn't planning on not being here and didn't leave anything he could just warm up. And Merle had a suspicion that cold cereal wasn't going to cut it anymore for his overly picky baby brother. "What does Rick usually make ya?"

 

"Sometimes he makes oatmeal an' some days we have eggs an' bacon. An' sometimes he makes funny shaped pancakes," Daryl said excitedly. "He can even make 'em look like Beau!" 

 

Daryl's eyes widened. 

 

"Can we have pancakes, Mer?" 

 

"Pancakes?" Merle had never attempted to make a pancake in his life. He was lucky if he could successfully boil an egg. How was he suppose to do this?

 

The little boy clasped his hands together.

 

"P'ease?" He asked hopefully. 

 

"Daryl, I don't know how-"

 

"I can show ya! I help Daddy. I can show ya how to make the mix an' how much 'nilla to put in."

 

"'Nilla?" The older Dixon repeated. 

 

Daryl nodded. 

 

"'M a good stirrer too. Daddy says so. But then you have to cook them in the pan 'cause I can't touch the stove."

 

"I don't know," Merle said slowly.

 

"P'ease, p'ease, p'ease?" 

 

Merle let out a long sigh, tilting his head back slightly. 

 

"Alright. We'll make pancakes. But I ain't promisin' any shapes or nothin'. Or that they'll even turn out." 

 

Daryl smiled brightly.

 

"Thank ya, Mer!" 

 

He rushed out of the room and downstairs into the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

Merle found Daryl in the kitchen riffling through the pantry. The little boy pulled out a box of pancake mix and held it up triumphantly. 

 

"I got it," he grinned at his big brother. 

 

"Hand it over."

 

Daryl brought the box over to Merle and handed it to him. 

 

Merle studied the box. 

 

"3/4 a cup? 1 tsp of oil? Daryl, I can't do this."

 

Daryl rushed to one of the cabinet drawers and pulled out several measuring cups and spoons. 

 

"Ya just need these," he explained. 

 

Merle nodded slowly. He studied a few of the measuring utensils. There was a cup labeled with 3/4 on it and tiny little spoon marked with tsp. At least there wouldn't be any math involved. He glanced back at the pancake mix box. 

 

"Alright," he said looking through the open pantry. He grabbed the oil from the top shelf. "You get the milk and one egg."

 

"Okay," Daryl said. He was more than happy to have a job to do. He got out the gallon of milk and placed it on the counter.

 

"Get an egg," Merle said. 

 

Daryl went back to the fridge and fished out the egg. It slipped out of his hand.

 

"A different egg," Merle growled slightly looking at the mess on the floor. 

 

"Sorry, Mer."

 

The older Dixon blinked at his baby brother. The little boy was staring back at him with wide, worried eyes. Merle let out a long sigh and his frustration along with it. 

 

"Just get another one." 

 

Daryl got out another egg and with much care and effort he placed it next to the milk. 

 

Merle wet a paper towel, grabbed some kind of cleanser and began cleaning up the gooey mess off the floor. 

 

"We need a big bowl," Daryl said. He glanced at his older brother who was busy at the moment. "I can get it." 

 

Merle nodded. 

 

"Get it then." 

 

Daryl went to the cabinet and grabbed the usual mixing bowl. He set it down next to the ingredients. 

 

Merle stood up and tossed the rag in the sink. 

 

"What's the first step?" he asked. 

 

"Ya put the mix in," the baby answered. "Ya need one cup." Daryl handed the measuring cup to his brother. 

 

Merle measured out the mix and poured it into the bowl. 

 

"Now what?"

 

"One tablespoon of oil."

 

"Alright. You hold the spoon still and I'll pour it, got it?"

 

Daryl nodded happily. 

 

Daryl did an excellent job of holding the spoon, but Merle had a harder time pouring in the liquid. 

 

"We should've done this over the sink," Merle mumbled as he over-poured and some oil splashed onto the counter. "Toss it in." 

 

Daryl added it to the mix. 

 

"Now we just need an egg and the special secret 'gredient."

 

"I'll handle the egg," Merle replied smirking somewhat. "What's the special secret ingredient?"

 

"'nilla," Daryl said holding up a bottle of vanilla. "One teaspoon." 

 

Merle groaned. He hated the stupid little spoons. 

 

Daryl held the spoon steady, over the sink this time, and watched Merle pour in the brown fluid. They managed to lose nearly half the bottle down the sink, but they got the one teaspoon in the mixing bowl.

 

"Can I stir it, Mer? P'ease?"

 

"Yeah, go for it."

 

Daryl managed to keep most of the contents in the bowl while he stirred. He took his job seriously. With his tongue peeking out the side of him mouth and his eyes slightly squinted, he diligently mixed everything together until the mix was smooth. 

 

While Daryl was stirring, Merle was greasing and heating up the pan. 

 

"'s done!"

 

Merle grabbed the bowl and brought it over to the stove. 

 

"You stand back," he told his baby brother. 

 

Daryl watched from several feet back as Merle began making the pancakes. It took a few tries and some ugly, distorted burnt ones, but eventually the older Dixon got the hang of it and was turning out pancakes almost as good as Daddy's. 

 

Merle rustled through the cabinets and got out a couple plates, a glass for him, a sppy cup for Daryl and some silverware. He then plated the food, cut it up, and handed it to the baby along with a plastic fork.

 

"Carefully take these to the table and sit down. I'll get you some juice."

 

Daryl beamed down at the plate.

 

"Thank ya, Mer! They look 'lecious."

 

Merle hid his small smile with his hand.

 

"Alright, alright. Go on," he said nodding towards the table. 

 

When Merle sat down he noticed his little brother wasn't eating. 

 

"What are you waitin' for?"

 

"'m waitin' for ya to sit down. Daddy says 's polite to wait for everyone to sit before eatin'." 

 

"Well, I'm here. So eat." 

 

Daryl picked up his fork and stabbed a piece of pancake. Merle was watching out of the corner of his eye. He thought they tasted fine, but he found himself wanting his baby brother's approval more. 

 

Daryl took the first bite and wiggled happily in his seat.

 

"They're really, really good, Mer!"

 

Merle felt a swelling of pride. 

 

"Good." The older Dixon ate slowly mostly because he was more interested in watching his brother eat. 

 

"More?" Daryl asked once he had eaten everything off his plate.

 

Merle nodded as he served Daryl a second helping.

 

"So, Officer Friendly makes you these a lot?"

 

Daryl nodded. 

 

"At least once a week," Daryl replied happily. "Sometimes he makes 'em into shapes. He can make the owl babies from our book! My fav'ite is when he makes Beau. But sometimes he adds too much batter to his tummy to make him fat. Beau isn't that fat. Do you like Beau, Mer?"

 

"The cat?"

 

"Uh huh."

 

Merle could care less about the animal, but he could tell by his baby brother's wide and hopeful eyes that that wasn't the answer he wanted. 

 

"Yeah, I like 'em."

 

Daryl grinned. 

 

"He likes ya too. Do you wanna play wif us when we're done?"

 

"Um," Merle glanced at his brother. There was that expression again. "Sure, Daryl."

 

"'Kay! Are ya done?"

 

Merle couldn't help but chuckle at the little boy's excitement.

 

"Yeah. I'm done. But first let's scrape that syrup off of you," the older man said standing up. He motioned to the sink. 

 

Daryl hopped out of his seat. 

 

"Daddy usually makes me wear a bib," he said blushing lightly. 

 

"That makes sense. We're gonna have to change your clothes. You don't have any syrup under 'em, do you?"

 

Daryl giggled causing a smile to play at Merle's own lips.

 

"No."

 

Merle decided Daryl should be cleaned off first. He lifted him up and placed him on the counter. He used a wet, soapy washclothe to gently scrub Daryl's syrup covered skin. 

 

Daryl was patient as his brother cleaned him up. Once the horrid face washing was done the older Dixon ushered him upstairs and let him pick out a clean outfit. He then followed his brother downstairs and back into the kitchen where he helped him load the dishwasher and wipe off the counters. 

 

It was still snowing, not as heavily as the night before, but it was still coming down. This was their first winter in Chicago and the first time Daryl had ever seen snow. He wanted to experience it completely. He wanted to know what the star shaped flakes felt against his skin, what they felt like all packed together in a tight ball. He wanted to know what it tasted like when one fell upon his tongue. 

 

Merle was preoccupied trying to figure out how the dishwasher worked. Daryl was positive if he was quiet enough he could step outside for just a minute. 

 

He shot a glance at his big brother to make sure he wasn't looking and then slid the back door open just wide enough so he could slip out. 

 

Merle was just about to give in and give the machine a good kick when it started up. 

 

He let out an exhausted sigh. 

 

He'd only been awake for a couple hours but already he felt wrung out. He had no idea how Rick did this 24/7. 

 

Suddenly the older Dixon felt a rush of cold air wrap around him. He shivered and turned around. That's when he caught Daryl standing outside on the back steps gazing up at the sky. 

 

Merle growled as he stomped towards the door. He reached out and grabbed Daryl by the collar and yanked him inside. 

 

The baby boy spun around towards his brother. 

 

"What the hell do ya think you're doin'?" Merle hollered. 

 

Daryl flinched away and held his trembling arms up to cover his face. 

 

"'m sorry, 'm sorry," he repeated tearfully. 

 

The other Dixon stared at his baby brother. He let his grip go and Daryl stumbled back into the corner.

 

"Shit," Merle said softly suddenly feeling very guilty. 

 

The little boy was sobbing and shaking violently as he curled into himself to defend the blows that he was sure were coming. 

 

"'m sorry, Merwle," Daryl cried. 

 

Merle's heart dropped. He felt the guilt flood through him. He was drowning in it. Merle never felt so awful in his entire life. Daryl was terrified of him. After all these years his baby brother was frightened to death of him. 

 

Merle searched for words of comfort that wouldn't surface. The Dixons were never that good with words, especially consoling ones. 

 

"I won't do it 'gain! Pwomise!" Daryl sobbed. 

 

Merle took a step forward. He managed to hook his arms beneath his little brother's and hoisted the hysterical baby onto his hip. 

 

Daryl wiggled frantically to get down. 

 

"No no! 'm sorry!"

 

"It's- it's alright, baby brother. Just calm down."

 

Merle began to sway back and forth.

 

"Need Daddy," Daryl cried. "I need my Daddy!"

 

"Yeah, alright. We'll call him." 

 

Merle made his way over to the phone, picked it up and dialed Rick's number. It went right to voicemail. Merle was a little grateful for that. He really didn't want Daryl crying to Rick about how he had scared him, how he had always scared him and even now that hadn't changed. Officer Friendly would never let him near his little brother again. 

 

However, now he had a hysterical baby on his hands and he was at a loss. He wasn't great at calming the boy the first time around and he didn't think he could do it this time either. 

 

"His phone must be dead," Merle muttered.

 

Daryl let out a wail. 

 

Merle needed a moment to think, but he didn't have a moment to think. He let instinct take over. He set Daryl down on the counter.

 

Daryl moved to get down. 

 

"Just stay there," Merle ordered. 

 

Daryl froze. 

 

Merle moved around the kitchen opening various cabinets and drawers til he found what he was looking for. 

 

The baby boy was lost in his own tears. He jumped when his big brother pulled him into his arms. 

 

Merle carried him over to the couch and maneuvered Daryl into a cradling position. He brought a warm bottle to the boy's lips. 

 

Daryl accepted the it tearfully. He was expecting his lackluster formula, instead he received a few drops of a warm chocolaty substance. He pulled the bottle from his lips and inspected it. 

 

Merle rolled his eyes.

 

"It's just hot chocolate."

 

Daryl sniffled. 

 

"'s good," he said softly. 

 

Merle nodded. 

 

"Lay back," he ordered gently. 

 

Daryl relaxed somewhat and resumed drinking. 

 

After a few minutes or so of nothing but quiet suckling sounds Merle cleared his throat.

 

"I'm... I'm sorry," he said.

 

"It was my fault. 'm not allowed to go outside without a grown up."

 

"No, I'm just..."

 

Daryl could sense something was off his big brother. Merle wasn't great with words, but the little boy couldn't recall a time he was ever at a loss for them. 

 

"Mer?" 

 

Merle was staring out the window in front of him seemingly determined not to look his little brother in the eye.

 

"Was I that bad?"


End file.
